The Ever-Present Dangers of Poo


My first thought is how do I get my dog to pick up its own poo? I mean, that is one really talented and coordinated dog. My dog is why we can’t have nice things, and you’re more likely to catch him doing this* than anything remotely helpful like cleaning up after himself:


*Not my actual dog.

But back to the sign. Residents have this really unhealthy obsession with poo, and not just their own bowel movements, but those of our four-legged creatures. We have a “serious” problem of people not picking up after their dogs, so like all normal responses, someone decided to put up a bunch of signs. Because in case you weren’t a responsible dog owner that picked up after your pooch, you will be now. Or else that dog is going to chase after you with its scooper– it really means business.

Now instead of giggling –like any sane person– on your daily walk when you happen upon this sign with your dog, residents have started getting angry (*gasp* shocker). As one resident eloquently put it:

Those look terrible to me, but hey, the slum look helps keep the rents low by attracting people with low standards. Thes [sic.] signs demonstrate to shoppers that PFFX is doing our part to support affordable housing in the DC area.

That escalated quickly. These signs are going to single-handedly ruin our neighborhood, next we’ll have gang shootouts, abandoned boarded up houses, crack vials on our sidewalks and it all started with those signs. Because when I look at low-income neighborhoods my first thought is always “if only they hadn’t put up those dog poop signs!”


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